I wrote this the other day and shared it on my Fb but I think it’s worth sharing here.
My day has been a bit ridiculous so far. My phone is acting stupid so Iām limping along on my work cell. I thought I lost my debit card last night. Normally losing my debit card wouldnāt be a huge deal bc up until recently I had debit cards for two different accounts and would just juggle my funds electronically, whatever, but a scumbag compromised my other debit card a while back so I recently canceled it. So yeah…I was feeling pretty beaten up and angry and frustrated this morning.
Then one of my favorite flip flops just up & broke while I was trying to locate my debit card. Thankfully I DID find my debit card tho so yay!!
And it looks like my phone is under warranty so now Iām just mourning my flip flops. This is silly but significant because I donāt like shoes in general. But these were different and I wore them every time I could get away with not covering my toes. They had rhinestones and a little bit of platform. They were perfect.
All of this has bigger significance too tho. (Maybe?) The last time I had a pair of flip flops break on me was the day I passed my ASCP exam to officially become a med tech. My flip flop broke as I was approaching the front door of the exam place…but I limped along, unthwarted, asked the test administrator for a stapler, stapled them temporarily together (I couldnāt take the test barefoot…technicalities), and rocked that test.
So…I dunno if thereās really any deeper significance here, but it took a great deal of tenacity not to give up back then and this morning was similar, as I felt like everything was going wrong. I wanted to be like, āoh well. Iām screwed and cursed.ā And just give up. But somehow I kept moving…and sometimes thatās all it takes to turn it all around.
I keep saying better days are coming and that things improve if you do…and it turns out maybe Iām right. the past few weeks have been difficult for me for many reasons. But at the same time, theyāve been kind of awesome…Iāve tap danced in between devastation and dignity, perfectly bipolar. And Iāve come to realize when faced with great difficulty, you just need to reach deeper and radiate deeper grace. As you improve, so will your conditions.
For every paralyzing defeat, there is at the very least a lesson, but often, something better lies in the wings. I find that many people do somewhat great things while somehow managing to stay in their comfort zone at the same time. I wish I could do that…Iāve come to realize that I only flourish when all hell breaks loose. In chaos I find my calm and in rejection I only try harder and I swear for every door thatās slammed on me in my life, a bigger blessing has come my way.
Anyway, Iām rambling, but just let me say that there are really good things coming down the pipe. When the crappiest part of a day like today boils down to a broken flip flop, I know Iām either pretty blessed or Iāve found a level of serenity to deal with whatever bs life throws at me. Fingers crossed. One foot in front of the other.
benandavasmom 